Sometimes "S#!t" happens when things go right
An example in shifting your perspective about those seemingly unwanted things
“Shit” Happens
I’ve been working on a post for this law of attraction substack about my student loans getting discharged and how to make new affirmations based on great news, but “shit” happens. I’ve written about why it happens (when you’re on a high-vibe) before when discussing the Tarot Tower card.
I saw my loans were discharged on Easter, and I had to work last week. Then the weekend came. My intention was to meditate on feeling free (such as “debt-free” type affirmations) during the week and write about that experience. I have been able to write some of that article, and I’ve been able to even release some very old trapped emotions that happened when my schooling didn’t go as planned.
Releasing Trapped Emotions
The student loan discharge was based on the claim that the schools misled me in some way. One instance is the sales pitch for the web design program at a local school. I had to take extra unrelated classes (which didn’t transfer from my 4-year college) and so I was taking a mixture of beginner web classes that I wanted to take, and I was taking many classes I didn’t, just to get the degree that I wanted so I could be a professional web designer. Then they closed the program in the middle of it. So I had loans out for classes I didn’t even want to take and I didn’t get the degree I was after.
My mother had just died of cancer a few years earlier and I finally thought I knew what I wanted to do and then it all went away. And I think I went into the freeze state emotionally. I didn’t know what to do, but eventually I moved on with some other job and just never dealt with that emotional letdown. It was a very hard time for me and I’m writing about it from an emotionally-distanced standpoint because I can’t feel it right now. The only time I’ve truly felt big emotions about it was when I was meditating last week and praying to God to let me keep crying to get those emotions out so I’m no longer holding onto this pain. It may have lasted 30 seconds to a minute. I have more work to do.
Manifesting Anyway
It’s amazing to me that I manifested the student loans being discharged before I could deal with that pain. I would have thought I would have to deal with the pain first and then the manifestation would come. But I didn’t even know how much pain was buried until that meditation. I didn’t realize that I was in the freeze response around that time until that meditation either. But I have been watching videos on releasing trauma recently which helped to bring it to my mind when I let it quiet down in meditation.
I know I’ve released a lot of old thought patterns and anger and fear around the loans, but I learned you obviously don’t have to release every negative thought or emotion in order to manifest something you want.
Oscillating Emotions
Over the past week, I’ve felt like my normal self at baseline, and I’ve felt happy, on top of the world (carefree), and I’ve felt sheer terror (my fear response was triggered). As I wrote about previously, when you feel a lot better then you start to see things that are not beneficial for you (and your current manifestational state) being forcefully dragged out of your life. You begin to repel those negative vibes. You’d be happy about that except it’s usually things that you thought you wanted that you start to lose.
If you didn’t want those things in your life, you would have gotten rid of them by now, And it’s usually your old thought patterns, limiting beliefs, and not wanting to deal with old emotional wounds (that resistance to letting them go kept them in your life this long). But the new, improved self that you’re starting to manifest with your higher vibration (happy state of mind) has healed those old wounds and doesn’t have those limiting beliefs. You have to let them go to move forward in the better life you desire.
My Weekend
I was desiring to write the earlier mentioned article that hasn’t been finished yet this weekend. But I knew I should be in a relaxed state, so I just browsed social media, watching YouTube videos and such. I was watching random things, like DIY haircuts because I may cut my hair again. I was pretty relaxed and it was still early. Then I saw a video called, “9 Signs Your Phone Has Been Tapped & What You NEED To Do” and I clicked on it. It was pretty random compared to the other types of videos I was watching.
I’ve got some “trauma” around being spied on when I was much younger. Between that and studying cryptocurrencies (which have a huge hacker issue), I can be a bit technologically paranoid. So I watched the video.
Well, your paranoia can actually attract what you’re afraid of. My phone is apparently forwarding calls to a number that is not my own when I don’t answer it. People can gain access to accounts if they receive codes (meant for you) sent to their phone. As far as I’m aware it’s not forwarding texts. But who knows? I tried to disable it and couldn’t, so I spent a good chunk of time on hold trying to get my carrier to help stop it. They’re on the case. I’ll figure it out.
The fear response kicked in and I started catastrophizing. I had to remind myself that nothing has been stolen. I have my phone turned on all the time and I’ve seen the calls that come in. They’re only being forwarded when I’m not receiving them (like when it’s turned off which I don’t do). And the carrier is working to turn the forwarding off.
And, I reminded myself that I was unusually happy at points this past week, and manifesting situations that scare you is to be expected. I could see this event from different perspectives. I could see it from the 3D human perspective, “Someone’s trying to abuse me, get my money, etc.” (bringing up the need to fight it) or I could see it from the 5+D God-Source perspective, “You found out. You watched the video. You found out and took action before anything could happen. You can wait while it gets settled.” If you find yourself in a similar freakout you can pray to God to help you see it from His (its) perspective.
Sure it sucks that I have to deal with this, but my actions to deal with it cleared out my phone. I did a factory reset. I had to put my music and some pictures back on there, which means I may have added songs I forgot to add last time. This means I may hear different songs while traveling to work or when I’m working out at the gym. I may feel differently because of it. My phone use will feel different. And it will look different.
And I deleted games that perhaps took more time than beneficial for me. I can see playing games as part of a freeze response in the present day also. I’m not opposed to relaxing with them at times, but a reset can sometimes be beneficial. Maybe I’ll read more.
An old dream
I once had a dream where I was in the mountains. It was so crystal clear and vivid, it felt more real than reality. I think it was a vision (though I had it while asleep). It’s been years so it’s a little fuzzy, but in the dream I left a computer outside or in the rain or something and it was being fixed by someone in a house. I saw the clock (in the dream) and it was 12:21 am, a little after midnight. After I woke up, I took the 1221 to represent the letters A, B, B, A which spells Abba or “father,” a way to refer to God. So I took the dream to mean He was helping to reset my brain and thought processes so I could be “transformed.” I felt like I have been in this process of resetting my mind’s thought programs for years. But I had a lot of negative thought processes that needed resetting.
Being Reprogrammed
Your emotional and mental state affects your environment because it makes you clean or not clean things up. A cluttered mind creates clutter. Also, cleaning things up can affect your emotional and mental state and make you feel “clear-headed.” It’s not surprising that I would manifest things becoming “like new” when that’s how I felt when I found out my student loans were discharged.
But it’s a process. I have to do the cleaning. It could be a fun process if I see things the way God-Source sees them while I do it. (I enjoyed listening to some music while deciding what to put on the phone.) But I don’t always see it that way. As I said, my emotions have been oscillating. I’m certainly more aligned with God’s thoughts than my old ones today than I ever was before. That’s a process too, but I see more and more every time something like this happens that it all works out in the end and I don’t have to fear the process.
Healing Crisis
I’ve also had some skin irritation issues this week and I was reminded me of the German New Medicine perspective. They believe that symptoms are a sign of healing, not of disease. I made a video (which is embedded in that article) on that topic. I may be having “an allergic reaction” to something (as we normally think of it) or healing from some previous issue that involved the “allergen.” You can learn more about the German New Medicine view on gluten sensitivity here. I don’t know what the sensitivity is to, but I am not surprised that when things go good and right, I see the expelling of negative vibrations, tracks, samskaras, etc.
I know that I always feel better afterward. When I’m thinking clearly, I realize that this clearing out unwanted stuff from my life to better match the high vibration I had when I felt free (in a way I haven’t since childhood) is 100% beneficial. However, that doesn’t stop me from becoming obsessive about trying to fix things right now.
You Have a Choice
Every day you have a choice to choose what perspective you’re going to see the world from. We all usually see the world from the same perspective day in and day out. But, we have a choice to ask to see it from a new perspective or to question our beliefs.
I asked myself why I felt so afraid. You can do that too. Ask yourself why you’re afraid when you feel that way. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and you can then ask if it’s true or if there’s another way to see it.
I realized that I had a belief that, “If I get hacked, then (automatically) my money will be stolen.” This is not true. I’ve had multiple experiences where it’s not true. Time and time again I’ve seen false charges on my credit cards and gotten those reversed. I’ve never had any crypto stolen even though a couple of people have tried. I’ve never lost money because of hacks. I’m kind of blowing myself away thinking about all of the times someone has tried and it didn’t work. I’ve been protected every step of the way.
That’s a good belief to combat the limiting, scary, and false one. I can turn that into an affirmation, “God protects me from having my money stolen.” I’ve got a lot of evidence in my past to help me believe that affirmation.
So I can see this experience as many like to say, “Two steps forward and one step back.” Or, I can see this experience as God (or the universe) removing old negative beliefs so I can start manifesting a better life than before this happened. It’s a bit like jumping on a trampoline. You go down but you can jump higher the next time.
One perspective is really pessimistic. The other one is hopeful. I choose to be hopeful. And, it’s not without cause. I know I’ve been through similar situations and it’s always worked out great for me. I don’t expect that to change and that (the expectation) is half the battle.
Remind yourself that you can question your beliefs and when you think things are going to “hell” it might just be a tower moment leading to a better future.
THUMBNAIL IMAGE CREDIT: Girl Surprised